Giving up control can be and is a frightening process, because it has been a vital part of our survival, and a survival mechanism. Controlling behavior is a human attempt to bring order and consistency into inconsistent and unpredictable situations.
I have over the years struggled with being rigid, authoritarian, demanding, inflexible, and a perfectionist, self-destructive, with shame-based behaviors. I can say honestly that I still, from time to time struggle inwardly with many of these issues.
I have freely teetered on the edge of depressions pit and stumbled around the precipice of suicide. But because of my faith in the living God, In Jesus Christ my hope was restored.
But I have found a still small voice within me that affirms me, validates me, declares me as righteous, and has set me free from the many mental strongholds that my past circumstances had imprisoned me with.
I believe I will always struggle with control, because I live in an inconsistent and unpredictable world. And circumstances are rarely predictable or stable in my environment or my world.
Even God is unpredictable. He is consistent, and always keeps his promises, but unpredictable. I cannot control God, my environment, nor can I control situations. The only thing I can do is control my thought life. And, I need help from God to do this as well.
With the help of the Holy Spirit I can renew my mind, to think in a different way, than what I do think, or have thought, or have been thinking. I wait and meditate on the Word of God, allowing Him to transform me from the inside out.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is
--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2
Control can also be a manifestation of unbelief in the living God. If I trust, I don’t need to control every aspect of my life. What I need to do is believe,and put my Hope in Jesus.
Therefore they said to Him, "What shall we do,
so that we may work the works of God?"
29Jesus answered and said to them,
"This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent."
John 6:28-29
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
John 15:5